It is Dec 18th today and it has been 10 DAYS since I wrote my last blog post. Soo what happened?
Depression happened. I had zero energy to put into writing blogs. I also had zero cares about writing it. If you have depression you know that it takes things from you. It takes you energy, your drive, your thoughts, you hobbies. It takes these things from you and doesn’t care. Depression is one of the things I live with daily. Sometimes I lose the battle, sometimes I give in a bit because its exhausting to keep fighting. Sometimes it sneaks up on you and gets it when you least expect it. It kind of wraps you in this warmth and comfort that’s familiar . Have you watched Big mouth? The depression Kitty is pretty accurate for a cartoon.
I could easily sit here and beat myself up for shitting the bed and not writing blogs, for falling way behind on my house work, for not taking care of myself, for isolating myself and watching depression take over.
BUT this is where “Some Bad Days” comes in. I have bad days, weeks, but they will NOT define me or the progress I have made. I don’t want to beat myself up more then I already do. I don’t want to make myself feel bad over things that I cant change now. I will look back at this time and try my best to see a silver lining4. I was able to see what was happening and I was able to intervene before it went on longer. I pushed myself each to practice some form of self love. These are small steps that a Cpl bad days wont take from me. These are small victories that depression wont take from me.
I have bad days, I have good days. I am trying my best at this whole functioning thing.
If you have depression or anything that takes you from you. Know that you are not alone. Know that there are many of us going through the same thing or similar. Know that you are a stronger then this, and you have made it this far!
You are getting stronger every day. You are fighting this every day and winning. We can sometimes have bad days, but they don’t define you!